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LET'S TALK ABOUT IT

Writer's pictureKaci-Ann Phillips

Lessons Learned in Counselling in 2023: A Counsellor's Perspective

Goodbye 2023: Kaci in the background with an overlay of lessons in counselling she learned in 2023.

As 2023 ends, and I encourage my clients to reflect on their strengths, challenges, and successes from the past year, I thought it was time for me to reflect on some of the lessons I have learned in the counselling space this year. Counselling is a transformative journey for the client, but also for the counsellor. As a counsellor, I have the privilege of witnessing the positive impacts that counselling can have on an individual’s life. In this blog post, I would like to share some of the key lessons I have learned from my experience as a counsellor in 2023.


Everyone has a unique story, and your story matters

One of the most important lessons is that every individual has a unique story to tell. Each person's experiences, struggles, and triumphs are all different. However, big or small, it is important to remember that your story matters. You may think “Well this didn’t happen to me” or “They have bigger problems than me”, but that does not mean that your story is unworthy of being heard. Your story is a testament to your bravery and strength, and you deserve to be heard. As I counsellor, my goal is to embrace the uniqueness of every individual story to invite a deeper connection, foster understanding and empathy, and demonstrate a genuine appreciation for the diverse human experiences that collectively contribute to the vibrancy of our shared existence.


Uncertainty is a part of the human experience

Have you experienced uncertainty this year? Maybe you found yourself transitioning jobs, moving, having a baby, or you didn’t know where your next meal was coming from. Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of the human experience. By accepting uncertainty as a natural part of life, we begin to feel free from the constraints of the rigid expectations we can set for ourselves.


Learning to say no will set you free

Do you struggle to say no when you don’t want to do something because you worry about letting the other person down? Learning to say no gives you the freedom to live a life that is aligned with your true priorities and well-being. When we assert our limits and decline commitments that don't align with our values or energy levels, we create space for the things that truly matter - ourselves. Saying no is an act of self-care that allows us to prioritize our mental, emotional, and physical health. By setting clear boundaries, we establish clear guidelines for others about how we want to be treated and what we are willing to accept in our lives. As we learn to say no without guilt and set boundaries without fear, we create a sense of empowerment and control over our lives. This contributes significantly to our overall happiness, as we honour our needs, we can cultivate a greater sense of balance and fulfillment.


Communication is key to successful relationships

Have you felt unheard, or misunderstood with your partner, friends, or family? Communication is one of my favourite parts of couples counselling because it is the cornerstone of successful interpersonal relationships, and it connects individuals on emotional, intellectual, and relational levels. When individuals express themselves honestly and actively listen to one another, they create a platform for empathy and shared understanding. Effective communication is not just expressing thoughts and feelings but also demonstrating a willingness to comprehend the perspectives of others. It is through clear and empathetic communication that conflicts are resolved, trust is nurtured, and relationships are strengthened.


Change is possible

One of the most rewarding aspects of being a counsellor is witnessing the transformative power of counselling. I have seen clients overcome immense obstacles, heal from past traumas, and make positive changes in their lives. Counselling provides the tools and support needed for personal growth and empowers individuals to create meaningful and lasting change. Through open dialogue and professional guidance, counselling fosters self-reflection, empowering individuals to identify and address patterns, behaviours, and beliefs that may be hindering personal growth. Change becomes not only possible but achievable as individuals gain insights, build resilience, and develop strategies to navigate their lives more effectively. Counselling's transformative power lies in its ability to facilitate self-discovery, instil hope, and empower individuals to make meaningful, positive life changes.


Year End Reflection: Personal growth and goal setting for the next year.

So, as we bid farewell to 2023, I encourage you to reflect on your year.  Reflect on the aspects of yourself that you believe have evolved or grown throughout the year. This could include changes in your perspectives, newfound strengths, or a deeper understanding of your emotions and reactions. Explore the strategies and coping mechanisms you've employed to navigate challenges. Consider the resilience you've demonstrated and identify any insights gained from facing adversity. Contemplate the aspirations you have for the upcoming year. What personal or professional goals would you like to set for yourself? This question invites you to envision the future and consider the steps you might take toward positive change.


Wishing you all the best in 2024,


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